Hard Code: Programado duro
- Downloads：9509
- Type：Epub+TxT+PDF+Mobi
- Create Date：2021-07-02 08:16:04
- Update Date：2025-09-23
- Status：finish
- Author：Misha Bell
- ISBN：1631426877
- Environment：PC/Android/iPhone/iPad/Kindle
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Summary
My new assignment at work: test out toys。 Yup， that kind。
Well， technically， it’s to test the app that controls the toys remotely。
One problem？ The showgirl who’s supposed to test the hardware （as in， the actual toys） joins a nunnery。
Another problem？ This project is important to my Russian boss， the broody， mouthwateringly sexy Vlad， a。k。a。 The Impaler。
There’s only one solution: test both the software and the hardware myself。。。 with his help。
NOTE: This is a standalone， raunchy， slow-burn romantic comedy featuring a quirky， nerdy heroine， her hot， mysterious Russian boss， and two guinea pigs who may or may not be into scissoring each other。 If any of the above is not your cup of tea， run far， far away。 Otherwise， buckle in for a snort-water-up-the-nose-funny， feel-good ride。
Well， technically， it’s to test the app that controls the toys remotely。
One problem？ The showgirl who’s supposed to test the hardware （as in， the actual toys） joins a nunnery。
Another problem？ This project is important to my Russian boss， the broody， mouthwateringly sexy Vlad， a。k。a。 The Impaler。
There’s only one solution: test both the software and the hardware myself。。。 with his help。
NOTE: This is a standalone， raunchy， slow-burn romantic comedy featuring a quirky， nerdy heroine， her hot， mysterious Russian boss， and two guinea pigs who may or may not be into scissoring each other。 If any of the above is not your cup of tea， run far， far away。 Otherwise， buckle in for a snort-water-up-the-nose-funny， feel-good ride。
Reviews
Heather62981
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2。5， rounding up
Debra
，
Totally FunThis book was laugh out loud funny with 2 very imaginative and nerdy main characters。 Vlad and Fanny。 Cute。 Testing sex toys。 Great romantic comedy。
Fovika
，
It was a fast read。 Not laugh out loud funny （except for that one dark joke， cause that just hits different） as the blurb states for me， however I feel like if you like shows like 'the office' you'd like this more than I did。 As the secondhand embarrassment just doesn't work for me。I liked the concept and definitely need more books with sex toy positivity。 I detested the names for all the characters。 It was a fast read。 Not laugh out loud funny （except for that one dark joke， cause that just hits different） as the blurb states for me， however I feel like if you like shows like 'the office' you'd like this more than I did。 As the secondhand embarrassment just doesn't work for me。I liked the concept and definitely need more books with sex toy positivity。 I detested the names for all the characters。 。。。more
Mandi
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3。5⭐
Grecale
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3，5
Nina
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Worth the readWhen I read the description on this book it said slow burn， I usually stay away from those cause I'm not a patient reader。 I am so glad I gave this a chance， I laughed from beginning to end I didn't even notice the slow burn because from the moment you read the first paragraph you're laughing。 I want to work for Alex lol。 Worth the readWhen I read the description on this book it said slow burn， I usually stay away from those cause I'm not a patient reader。 I am so glad I gave this a chance， I laughed from beginning to end I didn't even notice the slow burn because from the moment you read the first paragraph you're laughing。 I want to work for Alex lol。 。。。more
Romanticamente Fantasy
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This review has been hidden because it contains spoilers。 To view it， click here。 Ally - per RFS。Ragazzi tenetevi forte， questo libro è una bomba！Ebbene sì， lo ammetto， ho divorato le pagine in quattro e quattr’otto， questa autrice ti avvolge e ti accompagna nel mondo da lei creato grazie alla sua scrittura。L’incredibile New York City fa da sfondo alla strana storia di Fanny Pack。 So cosa state pensando… il nome della protagonista significa marsupio， ma dovete tener conto che è stato scelto da genitori hippie e stravaganti， che tra l’altro lei delude decidendo di diventare pr Ally - per RFS。Ragazzi tenetevi forte， questo libro è una bomba！Ebbene sì， lo ammetto， ho divorato le pagine in quattro e quattr’otto， questa autrice ti avvolge e ti accompagna nel mondo da lei creato grazie alla sua scrittura。L’incredibile New York City fa da sfondo alla strana storia di Fanny Pack。 So cosa state pensando… il nome della protagonista significa marsupio， ma dovete tener conto che è stato scelto da genitori hippie e stravaganti， che tra l’altro lei delude decidendo di diventare programmatrice。Fanny è bella， intelligente e lavora sodo da casa come tester di codici di programmi che， oggigiorno， vengono usati su qualsiasi apparecchio tecnologico。È così brava che， quando la sua caporeparto Sandra dovrà indicare il migliore dello staff farà proprio il suo nome， le verrà così affidato il test del progetto Belka。Un’occasione fantastica per ottenere la promozione attesa da tempo， se non fosse che Belka è un’azienda intenta a produrre sex toys intelligenti collegati a un app a distanza; sarà quindi compito suo testarla e correggerla in caso di riscontri di errori。Fanny， nonostante l’imbarazzo a livelli epici， decide di assumere una vera artista del settore， peccato però che il giorno stesso in cui avrebbe dovuto inviare il materiale， sarà invece quello in cui informa la nostra protagonista di aver deciso di ritirarsi in convento （da attrice osé a suora è un passo）Si ritrova così senza nessuno disposto a provare i sex toys， quindi， l’unica alternativa è di usarli su se stessa e annotare i risultati per la valutazione finale。 Un intoppo， però， farà precipitare le cose。Cosa succederebbe se una donna utilizzasse un plug anale maschile e avviasse il programma di ricerca del punto P （il punto di piacere della prostata， per intendersi）？ Le risate sarebbero assicurate！E se poi il tuo capo ti piombasse in casa per portarti in ospedale per rimuovere il suddetto toys， dopo aver ricevuto il codice di allerta errore？ E se， sempre il tuo capo， fosse tremendamente affascinante al punto da sognare di leccarlo; come ti leveresti dall’impiccio？Le scene in questo libro spaziano da comiche alle fasi tecniche di programmazione e， per una che non ne capisce nulla come me， non sono state affatto noiose o incomprensibili come pensavo， ma interessanti e istruttive。 Non immaginavo che ci fossero così tante persone dietro una cosa semplice come un’app o un apparecchio elettronico collegato a un server。 Davvero interessante！Ma prendiamoci un secondo per parlare del proprietario della Binary Birch， l’azienda in questione: Vladimir Chortsky， detto l’impalatore per la sua freddezza sul lavoro， è super sexy e incredibilmente premuroso， impossibile non innamorarsene。 😍Lo stile di Misha Bell è fantastico， me ne sono innamorata subito。 Le autrici che mi fanno ridere si aggiudicano di sicuro un posto nella mia personale Top Ten e lei se ne merita decisamente uno。I personaggi sono tutti matti e bellissimi， non in senso estetico ma più caratteriale。 Penso che io e Ava， la migliore amica della protagonista， legheremmo all’istante。 Poi i genitori di Fanny e Vlad sono così divertenti da meritare almeno un accenno。Se non è chiaro… questo libro mi è piaciuto da morire。 Era tanto， troppo， che non leggevo una storia dalle caratteristiche “tecniche” ma divertenti come questa e l’ho apprezzata moltissimo。Fanny ce la racconta dal suo punto di vista， mentre sentiremo i pensieri di Vlad solo nell’epilogo。 Se amate dare nomignoli a tutto ciò che vi circonda， comprese le parti del corpo， fate già parte del club！Non spoilero altro perché vale la pena leggere questo romanzo dai toni divertenti e romantici che non può non conquistare il lettore。 。。。more
T！FF
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I found a few things to be unnecessary in this。 （ie。 The eyebrow issue。） Also， I realize that this was purely for the steam but the story was so far fetched and really repetitive。 The ending was a bit much for me as well。 It was OK at best。
Tammy Nitschke Sokol
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Omg， loved it！！！！I lived it！！ I laughed。。。 I could not stop thinking about Glad and Fanny。。。。 Delightful story！！！！ I have got to read the next one now！！！！ Very well worth reading！！！！
Petrina
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Pretty funnyGreat story with funny bits。 There was only one moment I burst out laughing， but I definitely chuckled a great deal。 Very cute story and perfect ending。
mlady_rebecca
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Fanny Pack & Vladimir “Vlad” Chortsky （aka “The Impaler”）。The author “Misha Bell” is a pseudo name for the husband & wife writing team of Dima Zales & Anna Zaires。 This is my second book written （or in this case co-written） by Anna Zaires。 （view spoiler）[（Loved Devil’s Lair。 Working on getting back into the right mood to read the sequel Angel's Cage。） （hide spoiler）] I haven’t read any of her husband’s independent works。This is a light， fun， geeky story of a programmer whose job is to do quality Fanny Pack & Vladimir “Vlad” Chortsky （aka “The Impaler”）。The author “Misha Bell” is a pseudo name for the husband & wife writing team of Dima Zales & Anna Zaires。 This is my second book written （or in this case co-written） by Anna Zaires。 （view spoiler）[（Loved Devil’s Lair。 Working on getting back into the right mood to read the sequel Angel's Cage。） （hide spoiler）] I haven’t read any of her husband’s independent works。This is a light， fun， geeky story of a programmer whose job is to do quality assurance testing on remotely controlled sex toys。 And since her volunteer just entered a nunnery， she’ll just have to bite the bullet and try them out on herself。The project is a bit of a pet project of the company’s elusive CEO， throwing Fanny repeatedly into his orbit。 The sparks fly and — well， there are both male and female toys to test out — so what is a girl to do but ask her oh-so-hot boss’s boss to be her guinea pig。 （Speaking of guinea pigs， both Fanny and Vlad have the same unusual pet。）Great characters。 Light and fun tone。 Looking forward to Vlad’s sister Belle’s story in Hard Ware and his brother Alex’s story in Hard Byte。 。。。more
Daniela chiappini
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Muy divertidoEs un libro corto， fácil de leer y fácil de leer。La historia te atrapa。Felicidades Misha， espero la historia de Bel。
Isabela
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So fun
Melissa
，
I totally admit that I saw this audio book on sale and grabbed it when I saw that the great Sebastian York was one of the narrators。 Unfortunately， he only narrates the epilogue。 Also unfortunately， he has to narrate with a Russian accent （to be fair， he wasn't awful， but he wasn't normal narrator Sebastian either）。 But really the issue with this story is that it isn't really a story at all。 It isn't HILARIOUS like every other reviewer seems to think。 It's got some situational humor that is supp I totally admit that I saw this audio book on sale and grabbed it when I saw that the great Sebastian York was one of the narrators。 Unfortunately， he only narrates the epilogue。 Also unfortunately， he has to narrate with a Russian accent （to be fair， he wasn't awful， but he wasn't normal narrator Sebastian either）。 But really the issue with this story is that it isn't really a story at all。 It isn't HILARIOUS like every other reviewer seems to think。 It's got some situational humor that is supposed to be funny， but it's more cringe-worthy than anything else。 The entire premise of the novel is ridiculous。 There is NO WAY that this would fly in any company in the country。 It was borderline icky。 But I'd imagine there will be lots of readers who aren't looking for realistic or in depth who will enjoy this。 I found it too shallow to engage with at all。 But Sebastian York is still good enough to raise my rating up a star。 Two stars。 It was okay。 。。。more
Niki
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This book was funny book about a girl who is supposed to have a showgirl test "toys" with her boyfriend。 The problem is the showgirl joins a nunnery and she has nobody test the toys now。 I now have nobody to test the toys now and need to please my Russian boss。 I guess that means I have to test both sides of them myself until my Russian boss comes to my house when things don't go right and I actually meet him。 This book was funny book about a girl who is supposed to have a showgirl test "toys" with her boyfriend。 The problem is the showgirl joins a nunnery and she has nobody test the toys now。 I now have nobody to test the toys now and need to please my Russian boss。 I guess that means I have to test both sides of them myself until my Russian boss comes to my house when things don't go right and I actually meet him。 。。。more
Kate
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2。5 stars
Kelly
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Andere schrijf stijl dan we gewoon zijn van Anna zaires， maar een oh zo mooi verhaal。 Foto cover geeft een goed beeld van hoe ik me Vlad voorstel
Samantha Guadalupe
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Por Dios！， es de las mejores cosas que he leído， tan bonito， es cómico， romántico， personajes fuera de serie， te hace simplemente sentirte maravilloso， wow， simplemente es eso， tan perfecto！Vlad， te has convertido en mi prototipo de vampiro favorito y Fanny， me encanta tu nombre y desearía tener un poquito de confianza de las que tú tienes！Y recuerden， cuidado con las ardillas！！！
Helen Maddix
，
A fun book！ Loved the characters， how they interacted and how their story developed。 Well written with a good plot line。
jennet wheatstonelllsl
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Ks
Beth C。
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I’ve read Anna Zaire’s books before， but this was my first experience with work by Misha Bell and Dina Zales。 It certainly won’t be my last。 This book is legitimately funny。 It is exactly what I want from a rom-com。 Great characters with some quirks; a funny BFF secondary character; a fun， but slightly cringe-worthy storyline; the requisite drama （but thankfully， not too much） and the HEA。 I laughed out loud quite a few times while listening， once to the point I had to rewind because I missed th I’ve read Anna Zaire’s books before， but this was my first experience with work by Misha Bell and Dina Zales。 It certainly won’t be my last。 This book is legitimately funny。 It is exactly what I want from a rom-com。 Great characters with some quirks; a funny BFF secondary character; a fun， but slightly cringe-worthy storyline; the requisite drama （but thankfully， not too much） and the HEA。 I laughed out loud quite a few times while listening， once to the point I had to rewind because I missed the next lines。 It is just all around fun。 I’ll be getting the next book in the series too。 Ava Erickson is sooo good。 She really made Fannie’s emotions just shine through。 You feel like she’s your friend and you’re watching her crazy life。 My only criticism is that the only time Sebastian York speaks is in the epilogue。 It’s understandable， as accents just aren’t his thing。 But if you expect to be listening to SebYo， you’ll be disappointed。 Thank goodness， Ava is fantastic。 。。。more
Kasia
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Light and funny petfect pastime read。
Milica P。
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There were parts I didn't like， but I enjoyed the majority of the book。 The narration was great and that's the reason I didn't mind the bad parts as much as I would have， if I had to read it。 There were parts I didn't like， but I enjoyed the majority of the book。 The narration was great and that's the reason I didn't mind the bad parts as much as I would have， if I had to read it。 。。。more
Alex Perkins
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A little too much awkward humor for my taste
Margaret Smith
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Light and sexyWith several truly silly contretemps， especially regarding the inadvertent loss of an eyebrow and the subsequent efforts to hide the loss， this book is very light in tone while also managing to be fairly hot。 Testing app powered sex toys with a super hot boss might seem like a poorly thought out idea， but in a romance it is really the only option ; ） 。
Heather
，
This was a cute and chuckle worthy slow burn listen。 I can't get over the cringey chef's choice courses 🤢 or that I imagine Vlad as a hot JT from Grandma's Boy 🤣Wish this was duet style so I could hear SebYo do his Russian accent 😑 not a fan of these epilogue only reads， such a tease。 This was a cute and chuckle worthy slow burn listen。 I can't get over the cringey chef's choice courses 🤢 or that I imagine Vlad as a hot JT from Grandma's Boy 🤣Wish this was duet style so I could hear SebYo do his Russian accent 😑 not a fan of these epilogue only reads， such a tease。 。。。more
Nikki Thompson
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Super entertaining！ I really enjoyed this one。
Laetitia
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Drôle et romantiqueAlors que Vlad mène sa petite vie bien occupée en compagnie de son cochon d'Inde Oracle， Fanny mène sa vie （intérieure） complètement déjantée auprès de son cochon d'Inde Monkey。 Ils se rencontrent et c'est là que tout part en vrille。 Bonne lecture et amusez vous bien ！ Drôle et romantiqueAlors que Vlad mène sa petite vie bien occupée en compagnie de son cochon d'Inde Oracle， Fanny mène sa vie （intérieure） complètement déjantée auprès de son cochon d'Inde Monkey。 Ils se rencontrent et c'est là que tout part en vrille。 Bonne lecture et amusez vous bien ！ 。。。more
Najat
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Letto qualche giorno fà， davvero molto carino e divertente ❤
Alloverthebooks ✎
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